Self-care as it is currently known and defined, is b*llsh*t. Why? Because it is constructed around the principle of comfort. Self-care in modern society is all about attempting to remove ourselves from the pains, discomforts and hardships of life, by enshrouding ourselves in luxury, pleasure and comfort. Self-care is sitting in a nice, warm, bubble-bath. Self-care is watching Netflix with a tub of Ben & Jerries. Self-care is going to get your hair done, or your nails done, or getting a nice, gentle massage.
None of those things however, are doing anything to actually take care of you physically, mentally or spiritually. They are not doing anything to change the pain and hardship you are currently facing. They are not bringing you any clarity and true alleviation from your current circumstances. They are merely experiences that feel nice in the moment and give you an instant, quick hit of dopamine, to make it feel like you have escaped from that which is currently burdening you.
True self-care is engaging in things that are either going to actively help you change the circumstances in your life that are burdening you, or doing things that will bring you actual clarity and alleviation from them. And with that said, here are some self-care protocols I have found work for me personally, whenever I am feeling worn down and in need of some maintenance and rejuvenation….
1. Cook yourself one of your favourite meals
The caveat is that it has to be healthy- not beans on toast and a microwaved chocolate fudge cake. Go and buy some quality, fresh ingredients. Get in the kitchen and make yourself a meal that is going to nourish you. Your body will thank you for it, and you will feel a sense of pride, fulfilment and worth, having made it yourself.
2. Take a walk in nature
The brain is more active on the move. If you cannot seem to be able to think straight; get walking. Being out in nature is going to satiate any need you have to feel free and to escape from whatever burdens you are faced with.
3. Talk to a friend or family member who listens to you (and if appropriate, advises you well)
We are social beings. If you are blessed to have someone in your life that you can open up to, then do so. Sometimes we just need to be heard, and sometimes we need external input on our life and situations.
4. Put yourself through an intense workout
If the heart cannot let the emotions out, then the body will. Push yourself to a difficult, uncomfortable place physically, and sweat will not be the only substance pouring itself out.
5. Journal it out
It is much easier to visualise your problems on a piece of paper, than in a mental picture.
6. Do a physical and mental fast
Oftentimes we consume to comfort. Cut off the supply of misery. No food, no TV, no Instagram- just you, your body and your mind.
7. Read a mentally stimulating book
Systems can shutdown when they are stressed. Get them operating again, even if it means engaging with something irrelevant to what shut them down in the first place.
8. Take a cold shower
Self-care’s biggest mistake was choosing the bubble bath over the cold shower. Want to feel refreshed? This is the way.
9. Sauna it out
The condition is that you do not stay in until you have felt enough warmth, you stay in until you have felt enough heat.
10. Talk to God, yourself, or both.
Whatever your compass is, speak to it. If that compass is you, then speak to yourself. In your head does not count. It has to be out loud. Whether it is in the mirror, in a pitch black room, or looking up to the sky on top of a hill- talk to the big man/woman.
Taking care of ourselves is essential. Self-care is undertaking the maintenance and work needed to actually heal our wounds, make us stronger in the battle we are fighting, or find a legitimate fix to it. So next time you are in need of some TLC, remember the ‘T’ stands for tough, more than it does for tender.
Take care of yourself, and have a blessed week.